If you can't do the impossible, do the honorable

Often times when I sleep, I forget that there are painful and sometimes nearly impossible things I must eventually overcome or suffer what is to come. For a moment there I feel fine, but even in my sleep, I know that when I wake up, I will forever remember what's ahead. This is the state of my being, my every waking moment short of a few most intense minutes of the year. Every time I awaken from my amnesia, the memories hit me hard. It never goes away, and almost nothing affects it.

As time is running out, my faith in a future where I'm free from that fire is slowly fading away. Time itself has shown me, things I derive value from don't appear to be going my way. This is cause my true goals have always had poor prospects within my expected lifetime, but also because I've always had extremely hard time finding comparable value in anything else. The universe may hold unimaginable wonders, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be stuck right where I am - until the end of time. Yet I go on.